Yes and vs Yes but

We have all been in this situation: someone asks us something and we answer with a “yes but”, not realising the impact this has on the conversation.
It’s all about your mindset. Many people will automatically say “yes but” when answering a question, thinking they are being positive because they are saying “yes” and in fact negating whatever was said before the “but”.
Improvisation is an art form, also known as “Improv Theatre” in which five to six actors arrive onstage and create a show without a script, props, or costumes. It only works because they are always thinking and saying: "Yes, AND…"
No matter what an actor says onstage ("I'm lost in the desert!"), she knows that not only will her troupe immediately accept and support the idea ("Yes, you're lost in the desert!") they will also add to it. ("And I'm a palm tree in a mirage.") By constantly accepting whatever is contributed onstage ("Yes"), then adding to it ("And"), an improv troupe can build entire one-act plays out of thin air. When this concept is applied to work situations, the results can be amazing: radical changes in business and positive engagement from employees. This is because when you apply "Yes, AND…" to life, people feel heard, valued, and accountable. When you say "AND" and get into the game, you're part of the success or failure of the project, conversation, or event. In other words, you're on board with what is taking place, and that brings a higher level of energy and involvement. "Yes, AND…" creates collaboration in times of conflict and engagement in times of trouble.
Have you ever shared a new thought with someone, and thought they were really on board with you? The listener says, "Yes, I get it!" There is a moment of excitement for you, but then they say, "But it will never work."
Or maybe they say, "Yes! What a wonderful plan. But we tried it three years ago and it didn't work."
Or consider performance review time. You're getting all this great feedback. Your manager is saying, "Yes! We loved the work you did on Acme. You were so thorough, and the client loved you. But …."
Torpedo. Energy and excitement are flattened. You feel not only denied, but also patronized. It doesn't really matter what comes next. After BUT, all you feel is that what came first was insincere.
“Yes AND…” people are those who focus on building something. They have a constructive thinking and they are used to providing their best contribution. The communication with them is easy, smooth and meaningful. They face potential obstacles looking for possible solutions. And if they disagree about a topic, they simply explain their opinion and the reasons why.
So, try it for yourself. How does it feel when you say “yes BUT”? Where does the conversation go? And now, try for one hour, one day, one week to substitute “BUT” with “AND”. See what happens. It’s not easy. It’s a habit that takes time to form. However you will most likely find that you will start to see possibilities where you only saw dead ends. You will start to find the positive in situations that you would normally see as neutral at best. People around you will start perceiving you as more positive and proactive. And once the habit is there, you will become aware of just how full the glass is.

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